The Meaning Of Pain
by Abbi-Hime
Summary: I’m sitting in a gray chair, in a gray room. They all think I’m crazy, that I made the whole thing up, the story of his death. I sit here, telling myself the story over and over so I can one day tell the whole world how he died. It wasn’t accidental at al


_Summary_

I'm sitting in a gray chair, in a gray room. They all think I'm crazy, that I made the whole thing up, the story of _his _deathI sit here, telling myself the story over and over so I can one day tell the whole world how _he _died. It wasn't accidental at all, but a murder. DEPRESSION WARNING (Character Death by Suicide)

Title The Meaning of Pain Chapter One 

The Interrogation

I sit here, behind this table, waiting. Waiting for what? I don't really know. Am I waiting for the time to pass before my fate equals that of _him_? Maybe I am waiting for _him_ to walk in and take me away from this awful place. I don't know.

There's a knock on the heavy iron plated door and a man in a suit and tie enter, placing a thick brown folder on the surface of this white table.

"Miss Awayuki, we were told from an anonymous source that you witnessed the accidental death of Hayate Zephyr. Is this, in fact, the truth?" The man sits down in a fold out chair on the other side of this table.

I did not answer. He was asking me to talk about what I witnessed just tonight, at least 3 hours ago. Why must I? I don't even want to think about it.

"Miss Awayuki, we really do need an answer." He says with annoyance in his thick voice.

"His death was not accidental." My words are breathless, "He was murdered."

I am surprised the words did not stick in my throat. They have had a habit of doing that for about 3 hours.

"How do you know this, did you witness it?" He asked.

"Yes." This time I choked on my words and tears welled in my eyes as the vision flashed across my eyes, the red blood that covered the pavement and grass, staining it forever.

I opened my mouth to speak but my voice stopped, like it didn't want me to tell the story I had been reciting in my head all this time, ready to spill it to the world. Or maybe I'm not…

I close my eyes and shake my head, telling them I'm not ready to tell them the full thing yet, that it is too emotionally hard on me.

My lashes flutter open revealing my pinkish-red orbs. I see them stand and exit through the same iron plated door on the other side of this plain white table that I've been starring at since they brought me back to the police station after the 'accident'.

The door is propped open and I hear the men speaking about me.

They are just like everyone else; they think I'm crazy, that I made it all up.

But one thing they say surprises me. They think _I_ killed him. They think I am just acting like this to throw them off. But why would I want to kill Hayate? I…

The men return and sit across from me.

"Miss Awayuki, if you don't tell us this story now, you will be sentenced to death for the murder of Hayate Zephyr." He looks me hard in the eyes and has a serious expression plastered onto his pale face.

My eyes water again, but the tears dry and I begin to tell them the horrors of _his_ death.

"It all started…

I was sitting on the stone bench by the large fountain in our front yard humming the latest Inca song from the radio.

I hear a rush of wind and Hayate appeared before me, starring intently into the clear blue water of the fountain.

"**Hiya Hayate!" I smile at him and he returns one.**

"**Himeno, we need to talk, will you come with me to eat?" He asked her, a blush creeping onto his face.**

"**Like a date?" I asked curiously, my cheeks warming as I look into the navy eyes of his reflection.**

"**It doesn't have to be…but yeah I guess." He gave me a side-glance and saw a smile spread across my face.**

"**Sure," I stood and began to walk toward the house, "Pick me up in an hour, okay?" I start to jog up the stairs.**

"**See you then." He croaks out before disappearing into the wind.**

**I stand in my room; Mawata lying on my bed telling me the brown mini skirt I held up was hideous.**

"**I agree." I toss it aside and kneel on the floor in front of my closet.**

**I began to dig through the clothes I had piled on the bottom of the floor out of sheer laziness and screech and I reached the bottom and found it.**

**The perfect outfit lay there on the floor, a pair of tight low rider blue jeans and a navy tank top.**

**Mawata stands and walks up behind me and smiles, "Perfect." She says as she turns to the door.**

"**Wear my sliver high heel sandals and you'll be perfect, change while I get 'em." She closes the door and I hear her footsteps go down the hall.**

**I quickly change and glance at the clock. Just 10 minutes left.**

**I pull my hair into a high ponytail, something I had never done before, and slipped into the sandals Mawata had handed me as we descended the stairs.**

**When we reached the bottom floor, I saw Hayate standing there in the doorway in a black button up shirt and some dark blue baggy faded jeans.**

**I smile and walk to him, "Hello Hayate." **

**His eyes go wide when he sees me and he turns the color of a tomato.**

"**H-hi Himeno…" His words are quiet but you can still hear the crack in his voice.**

"**Are you ready?" I ask with enthusiasm.**

"**Y-yeah. Let's go." He offers me a hand that a take and guide's me out the door.**

**Tanaka rushes out of the garage with a stretch limo that I climb into gracefully.**

**Hayate sits next to me, his face still a glowing red color.**

"**So Hayate, Where we goin'?" I look at him.**

"**Uh…you'll see." He stated just as the limo skids to a stop and I hear a loud crunching sound like metal hitting metal.**

**The pulsation sears through my body in a wave of unbearable pain.**

**I gasp and fall hard to the floor of the car, screaming as Hayate tries to get me off the floor.**

"**Himeno? Himeno, what's wrong?" Hayate asks loudly, "Himeno?"**

**The pain grows as the windows fill with a dull green light.**

**Hayate looks up from me and opens the door, "Himeno, just stay clam, I'm going to see what happened." He climbs around me and I hear the door slam.**

**I sit up, the burning feeling not leaving as I climb from the car.**

**Then I see her, a woman with long silvery hair. She wore a black long sleeved belly-button shirt and black pants.**

"**Ah, so you've joined us, Pretear Himeno?" Her voice sends a bolt of lightning through my body and I feel something begin to edge into my mind.**

"**Welcome, I am Izuka, Goddess of All Suffering. What a title huh? I didn't get it for nothing though. Please, allow me to show you what true suffering is!" It was beginning to push hard into my mind, taking it over, showing me all the painful memories in my past.**

"**Yes, your past is full of pain, you are a perfect test subject for my latest experiment. Will the loss of the most important thing I your life really affect the amount of pain your former memories give you, I wonder? Let us see what you always crave to have near you!" She screams as my mind goes totally black. I can feel her reading my memories and thoughts like a book in front of her eyes. I try to stop her but once my mind is mine again, I know she has found what she wants.**

**She lets out a shrill laugh and 'tuts' me.**

"**This is very interesting. You are the first person I have searched that does not have a material object as a thing they cherish. You are a strange one. How can you cherish Hayate more then shopping or TV like almost all the others? Not that your favorite thing won't make thing easier on me." She laughs again and turns to Hayate, "Prepare to die!" She calls and charges for him.**

**I dive between them but he pushes me away just as her sharp claws insert themselves into his abdomen.**

"**Hayate!" I screech, tears burning my eyes.**

"**I'm okay, hurry and go!" He yells as she turns and prepares another attack.**

**He stands and runs towards me only to come crashing to the ground from pain.**

"**Heh heh heh. Hayate, Hayate, Hayate. You really think I would be that naïve? My claws are toxic. You touch them and you are on your death bed." She laughs again, shriller and colder them before.**

"**Himeno, run away." He coughs out blood and it spills onto the pavement.**

**He starts making his way toward Izuka, trailing blood all along the grass.**

"**Hayate…" I whisper helplessly. I can't run. I try but my body refuses to run, but…I don't want to watch either.**

**The tears that had been falling for a while became apparent as my eyes blurred.**

**Now everything was blotchy and all I could see was a blotch of navy and blobs of red all around it.**

**I cried harder and wiped my eyes just in time to see her claws come out of Hayate's back.**

"**Heh heh. He's dead. Poor Himeno. How will she react?" The cold words echoed in my head as all went black.**

My eyes were getting watery again and I tried to keep from showing emotions.

"Miss Himeno Awayuki, do you really expect us to believe Hayate Zephyr did not kill himself but that he was murdered my a woman with toxic claws?" The lawyer cocked a brow and shook his head sorrowfully, "I know you are hurting, but your sorrow is telling you he didn't kill himself because it is too painful-"

"You want to know what's painful?" I scream, "The person you loved was murder but a raving lunatic doing a science experiment and no one will believe me! That's pain. You have no idea what true pain really is!" The tears are falling now.

They think I'm too sad to tell the truth, that I'm lying to try and rid myself of pain. I'll show them ridding myself of pain, soon enough…

I stand and state I have no further business with them tonight and that I'd like o leave.

They let me go with a sigh and tell me they might call me in a week.

They won't…If I can help it…

Author's Notes:

Tell me what you thought. I know, I know, a bit depressing.

If you didn't like this then I suggest you stop reading it or prepared to be disappointed. There is more pain to come.

Thanks for reading it!

-Abbi


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